Monday, June 20, 2011

beautiful day

I have known Rob for a long time.  We have been good friends since about 5th grade.  Rob is actually the one that nicknamed me Murn...a name that has followed me all the way to California.  He got married to a wonderful woman this weekend.  My brother was frat brothers with Rob.  Rob and I moved out to No Cal within weeks of each other.  He was here cause he is a smart guy and was getting his masters and PhD at Stanford.  I moved here to be closer to family and attempt to be a nurse.  When we first moved out here....we kept tight with our Auburn family watching games and spending thanksgivings together.  The wedding was absolutely beautiful and perfect.  I did not weigh what I had wanted to for this event.  I was 189 that morning I think....but it was ok.
Here is a picture of me with my older brother.  Many people at the wedding said we look so much alike. I dont really see it....but I guess thats usually the case.
 Here I am with the happy couple.  
Even though the wedding was so great, it did not change my mind on what I imagine my wedding to be like.  I dont want a wedding.  I want me, my special guy and someone getting us hitched.  I guess after being in so many weddings over the years I am just not interested in all the fanciness.  I dont like attention.  Someone that was with me at the wedding asked me if anyone said anything about my weight loss at the wedding.  I am very happy to say no...no one did.  I dont like talking about it.  It embarrasses me.  I dont know why but it does.  I was hiding behind all that weight avoiding attention.  The attention has been the hardest part about losing weight.  Its what has put me in therapy.  The people that I knew at the wedding have known me a long time.  In high school I was probably only 30 lbs heavier than I am now.  Thats not a big change in looks.  It was really nice to have a night where I never really wondered if I was going to have to talk about it.  
It was a great weekend and I wish Rob and Kat a lifetime of happiness together!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

been a good girl

I have been a good girl with following the plan.  I have lost 7.6lbs in the last 2 weeks so I am feeling better about where I am.  I even updated the tracker on the top of this blog.
I have talked a bunch of people into running the San Jose Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon with me on Oct 2.  Anyone else wanna join us?  (I am looking at you Ruth!!!)  It is a flat course.  It will be with a bunch of really fun people!  It should be a nice and cool northern california morning!  There are bands playing all along the way!  Did I mention that me and a bunch of friends (mostly ER nurses) are going to run it so you have your own medical support with you!  Come On!
Here ....you can check it out for yourself!
Setting goals are important.  I tracked out my training for this race....it will start July 17th.

What are some of your goals?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

I did it

I am happy to report that last Sunday I ran in my first 1/2 marathon.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but I ran all of it with 2 water stops.  The last 2 miles mentally were hard!  I was so ready to stop and walk but I just kept saying...one foot in front of the other...just keep going.  And somehow I was able to do it.  My official race time was 2hrs 40 min and 49 sec.  My garmin said I did 12.00 min miles in moving time.  It shows me my total time and then my time taking out the stops.  My goal for the race was to do under 12 min moving miles.  So....with that I was 1 sec over which I am totally good with.  Physically I had only 2 problems.  At mile 7 I started feeling a blister on my left foot.  I had never had foot issues on my runs so I was not prepared for that.  By the end I had a big blister between my big toe and the ball of the foot making it painful to move my big toe.  Also interestingly enough I rubbed myself raw with the top edge of my bra.  NOt sure what that was about but I have known I needed to get better exercise bras....guess this was the proof I needed.  

Music is really important to me on any day but esp for running.  I have a good "workout music" playlist that I listen to on my workouts.  The night before the race I downloaded some new stuff and made a "best of" playlist where it was only the music that really got me pumped up.  That sure helped a lot!  I like a  WIDE variety of music.  Several people have asked me for my list of workout songs....so here is my "ultimate workout" playlist.  Warning...some songs are not squeaky clean!  I like a little rap in there so download any songs at your own discretion.

Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) by BeyoncĂ©
Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich
Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
Jai Ho! (as made famous by A. R. Rahman & Pussycat Dolls)
Run It! (Featuring Juelz Santana) by Chris Brown
One, Two Step by Ciara
All I Do Is Win (feat. T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg & Rick Ross) by DJ Khaled
Lose Yourself by Eminem
Club Can't Handle Me (feat. David Guetta) by Flo Rida
Right Round by Flo Rida
Proud by Heather Small
I'll Be Your Man by James Blunt
Stay the Night by James Blunt
Empire State of Mind (feat. Alicia Keys) by Jay-Z
Somebody to Love by Justin Bieber
Firework by Katy Perry
Crazy Beautiful Life by Ke$ha
Doin It by LL Cool J
Control Myself (Featuring Jennifer Lopez)by LL Cool J & Jennifer Lopez
Party Rock Anthem (feat. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock)by LMFAO Party Rock Anthem
Country Girl (Shake It for Me) by Luke Bryan
Beauty in the World by Macy Gray
Your Moment (from the Biggest Loser) by Mark Holman
Faster by Matt Nathanson
Raise Your Glass by P!nk
Give Me Everything (feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer) by Pitbull
Hips Don't Lie (featuring Wyclef Jean) by Shakira
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Dynamite  by Taio Cruz
Hey, Soul Sister by  Train 2
Yeah! by Usher featuring Lil' Jon & Ludacris Confessions (
Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett) by Zac Brown Band
In da Club by 50 Cent
Candy Shop by 50 Cent

On the same day as my race there was a race in Livermore called the Hook and Ladder.  It is a race with hot firemen all along the course and it is shorter....5K or 10K.  All of my running friends were doing that race so I ran this one solo.  I was feeling a little sad when I started the race that there was going to be no one at the end to celebrate with when I finished.  Well at mile 9 I heard some yelling and I looked over to see my dear friend Jewell and her daughter on the course cheering me on!  They were so awesome!  At one point she drove by me with a sign out the truck cheering for me.  They were at mile 11 with a sign that said only 2 more miles!  That was EXACTLY what I needed at that point!  It was also awesome to have them at the finish line to help me celebrate! 
My official time put me 1096h place of 1519 overall and 207 place of 292 in my age bracket.  To the person that asked if I was in the bottom forth of finishers...I am happy to say no...I wasn't....for overall or age.  I am not sure I will ever run another one of these but I am proud to say I did it!  I feel like I have talked about it so much lately, so I promise to all of those that have to be around me in real life...I wont talk about it much more.  

Thursday, June 2, 2011


I am struggling.  I said it.  I have not been following the program.  I talked to my councilor this week about it.  She is holding me accountable.  I went back to WW on tues.  I weigh 199.  Yikes!  I have gotten back to the strict things that worked so well for me.  I have been journaling.  I have been exercising.  I feel so good to be back in control.  I am working with my councilor in figuring out why I eat and try to get to the root of it.  Please dont nag me about it if you see me in person.  I feel bad enough on my own.
So thats why I have not blogged.  Many of you have mentioned it and I appreciate your support.  I am back and will get back to 188 soon.
I have kept exercising through this all.  It has become a really important thing for me mentally.  I am running my 1/2 marathon on sun and I actually do feel ready.

Thanks for the love and support!