Wednesday, March 20, 2013


I moved in with the hubby in May.  Since before I moved in I had plans on having a garden at this house.  When I first moved to California I had a tiny patio for a back yard.  Then I lived in an apartment.  I now have a house with a big back yard.  Yay!  It is a blank canvas too.....I mean really blank!

In fact the hubby and I do not agree on what should be happening in the back yard.  I picture a lovely green backyard with plants.  He pictures it staying just how it is....requiring no mowing.    So I am going to carve out an area for a garden.  I am going to have a raised bed built and have more veggies than I can ever eat!  I am pretty hopeful huh?  I have never gardened so I realize I may get nothing.  

I have a bit of ants in my pants to get my garden going but it is a bit too soon so I have started pots of stuff.  Here is what that looks like...

I will keep you updated!  Everything has sprouts but the bell peppers.  I will just buy seedlings of those if nothing pops up.  Again....I have no idea what I am doing but I'm having fun with it.  


Wednesday, March 6, 2013

I'm back!

Hey everyone.  My name is Murn.  I am a blogger....well....sortof.  I have been off of here for a long time.  I know...bad!  I do have a few excuses.  I am still fat.  I gained some of my weight back.  Not all by any means but some.  I am not going to update my numbers right now.  Here is what I can say....I am pretty happy right now.  So here is a quick summery of what I have been up to.  I met a boy.  We fell in love and we got married.  I dont know if he would appreciate me posting his picture on here so I wont but I will say he is smashingly handsome and I love him.
Here is a quick summary of the story...
October 2010.....received an email off of my match.com membership from a cute boy who seemed interested in me.  I met him.....we kept seeing eachother for over 2 years.....then
The boyfriend proposed on a Mon night in Dec.  He did it in a long  drawn out way.  I was not expecting it.  We had talked about getting married many times but I had said I was in no hurry.  He gave me a "fake" ring that was silver and white sapphires then he gave me the real ring.  I said yes.  The Boyfriend then suggested we get married that Friday!  The Myan calendar had said the end fo the world was going to happen that day so we wanted to get itched before that.  The next morning I called the county court house to get a wedding apt.  I have never wanted a wedding.  Something very simple with just the 2 of us is what I wanted.  Can you believe the courthouse had no apt for later that week?

So the boyfriend suggested vegas!  I perked right up and ran with that idea.  We went to vegas and got married in the back of a pink caddy by Elvis himself.  It was so much fun!  We had to promise to not step on each others blue suede shoes or treat eachother like a hounddog.  Elvis was great.

After the wedding we went back to the Belagio where we were staying.  We had the most fantastic dinner overlooking the fountains.  It was the perfect day!

So first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes.....

a lot of doctors appointments!  We have been working really hard and for quite a long time (yes, before we were married) on making a baby.  The hubby and I are both carriers of cystic fibrosis (a terrible disease) so we are using a lot of science to make this little one!

I know many many people that are dealing with infertility are very private about the struggle.  We have chosen to not be so private.  For one thing I am so greatful that we at least know we are carriers and can prevent having a really sick child.  For 2 I want people to know others are struggling too.  It can feel very lonely out there sometimes having to go through all of this.  Here is a quick summery of what we have been through....
Many blood drawns and appointments for both of us.
Oct 2012-Hubby had surgery.
Nov 2012-I had one round of egg retrieval done with only one good embryo in the end of it all.  We decided to do a second round of egg retrieval before sending the embryos off for genetic testing because the cost was the same ($6000) if we had one of 10 to test.
Jan 2013- another round of egg retrieval with a different set of meds.  I started out strong but in the end we only had 2 good embryos at day 5 of growing.
Jan 2013-  Biopsies of the 3 little embryos were sent off for genetic testing.  1 came back as only a carrier.  The other 2 had cystic fibrosis so we are choosing to not use those.  The one that is good is a .....GIRL!!!

So the plan right now is to implant that baby girl in May and pray she likes my uterus and grows to be a baby girl in there.

May?  why may?  Well we are going to be traveling most of April and we didnt want to risk being early preg when traveling.  Since we are traveling in April we wont be here to implant.....so May it is.

Which is what brings me to this blog....(long way around the barn I know!)
The doctor said I have a better chance of getting preg if I lose weight.  Damn it.....it always comes back to that!  So here I am on a crash diet trying to lose as much as I can before we implant baby girl.

I got serious about this weight loss plan on March 7.  For the first several weeks I was just exercising and eating healthy.  IN the last week I have started a hypnosis program.  2 days ago I started a cleanse through them.  I am not sure if I believe in all the "getting your body back in balance" crap but I do think it will help me lose weight.  I want to know when we implant our little embryo that I have done everything I can do to make it successful (I am also doing acupuncture).  So for the first 2 days I had 2 shakes (bleh) and veggies and fruits.  For the next 3 days I am drinking only water with lemon juice and maple syrup.  Thats it.  It tastes like lemonade....so its not bad.  It is just making me realize how I really eat to satisfy boredom and many other feelings.  Oh well.  Lemonade it is!
After these 3 days I am back to the shakes and fruits and veggies til I have been on it 20 days.

I woudl ideally like to get back to my lowest point but we will see.  As of this morning I have lost a total of 12 lbs since starting.  Tomorrow I will of been doing this for a month.

So I am back on track....sortof.  I admit I am crash dieting but I am ok with that this time.  I have a date I need to meet!

I am planning on having this blog now more about my life and less about dieting.  I will ask the hubby if I can put a picture of him on here.  I will also keep you updated on baby stuff (I hope)....or the lack of.

hope all is well

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Amazing, right?

I know you are probably shocked....2 posts in 3 days.  I am a bit amazed myself.  I can say that I feel like I am back in the weight loss zone that I was in so well that first year when I lost all my weight.  Yay!  

OK....so how is it going?  I went into work on tues feeling all great.  I had a plan!  I had all my food prepared and points counted out.  I am sitting there enjoying my mid shift shack and in rolls this HUGE chocolate cake for one of my favorite docs (Happy birthday Hartwell!)  I guess this is a good time to mention that I have a few trigger foods.  Salt is mostly what I am weak for....esp chips.  My second loves are cookies and cake.  Also on the creak room table was mounds of halloween candy.  I combined them all in one grocery sack.  I would be telling a lie if I said I was not tempted.  I am happy to say though that I did not give in to temptation.  

After we worked a particularly busy 12 hour shift in the ER Angela and I kept to our commitment of walking.  We walked 2.5 miles which I was happy with as day #1 exercising and it was midnight and we had our butts kicked at work already.

Today I did well also.  I bought a membership to 24 hour fitness today at Costco.  I have a gym membership to the nice snooty gym by my house but quite franky....it is not open a lot of the time when I would use it.....they close at 11.  So I did something that is completely wastful and now have memberships to 2 gyms.  If I am not going to my closer gym much within a month then I will let that membership go.  BUt with 24 hour fitness we can go after work....and go we did.  I ran 1.8 of 2.0 miles.  It sucked.  It was slow.  But I did it.  I also did some other elliptical like machine Angela likes.  I am still undecided on that but as much as it sucked...it also felt really great to be running again.  I cant wait to hit the trails again!

Hope all is well!

Monday, October 31, 2011


Yes I know....Its been a long time.  Too long.  I have a million excuses but I am back.  I have been doing some really fun things while I have been gone.  Been to a bunch of concerts & a football game. Life has been really pretty good!
 Lets cut to the chase though....this blog is about weight loss....so I assume thats why you are here reading.  I have gained weight.  Quite a bit.  I am not happy about it.  I knew it was happening.  My clothes are all too tight.  I stopped weighing myself daily when I get up and I have been going to weight watchers only sporadically.  All of this has lead to weight gain.  I honestly don't know the exact number. (I have a really good idea though since I had to weigh at the doctor today!)  I am going to weight watchers tomorrow morning before work and I will know a number then.  I do not plan on posting that number.  I need a few weeks to get things back on track to talk numbers.  

I had a really fun night tonight hanging out with 2 of my friends.  They both also want to lose some weight.  We all committed to work on it together.  We looked at our calendars and figured out what weight watchers meetings we will go to for Nov.  (trying to get 3 nurses all in the same place at the same time can be a bit of a logistical challenge!)  Anyways.....we all set goals. 
 Here is my goal....
We set the goal date as March 1.  That is 17 weeks away.  I want to lose 34 lbs by then (2 lbs a week!)  I can do that....know how I know that?  Cause I have done it before!  I really think it will be good to be on this with friends.  I have plans with Angela to walk after work every night this week and Kris is going to join us 2 of the nights.  
So there it is.  I am still struggling.  I really have been not paying much attention to my weight and when I dont give it attention....it sticks around.  Sigh!  I am afraid this is never going to be something I am going to be done with.  I am just going to keep managing it.  
I made the girls line up for a "before" picture.  I did one far away and one closer up.  So here we are! 
Kris, Angela and Me
 Here we are closer up! (Uggg...in these pictures I can totally see the weight I have gained in my face!)
On a happier note.....Today is Halloween!  Angela has some very creative, motorcycle riding neighbors that did this fun scene that I thought was worthy of posting.  

I can use all the encouragement I can get.  

Monday, June 20, 2011

beautiful day

I have known Rob for a long time.  We have been good friends since about 5th grade.  Rob is actually the one that nicknamed me Murn...a name that has followed me all the way to California.  He got married to a wonderful woman this weekend.  My brother was frat brothers with Rob.  Rob and I moved out to No Cal within weeks of each other.  He was here cause he is a smart guy and was getting his masters and PhD at Stanford.  I moved here to be closer to family and attempt to be a nurse.  When we first moved out here....we kept tight with our Auburn family watching games and spending thanksgivings together.  The wedding was absolutely beautiful and perfect.  I did not weigh what I had wanted to for this event.  I was 189 that morning I think....but it was ok.
Here is a picture of me with my older brother.  Many people at the wedding said we look so much alike. I dont really see it....but I guess thats usually the case.
 Here I am with the happy couple.  
Even though the wedding was so great, it did not change my mind on what I imagine my wedding to be like.  I dont want a wedding.  I want me, my special guy and someone getting us hitched.  I guess after being in so many weddings over the years I am just not interested in all the fanciness.  I dont like attention.  Someone that was with me at the wedding asked me if anyone said anything about my weight loss at the wedding.  I am very happy to say no...no one did.  I dont like talking about it.  It embarrasses me.  I dont know why but it does.  I was hiding behind all that weight avoiding attention.  The attention has been the hardest part about losing weight.  Its what has put me in therapy.  The people that I knew at the wedding have known me a long time.  In high school I was probably only 30 lbs heavier than I am now.  Thats not a big change in looks.  It was really nice to have a night where I never really wondered if I was going to have to talk about it.  
It was a great weekend and I wish Rob and Kat a lifetime of happiness together!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

been a good girl

I have been a good girl with following the plan.  I have lost 7.6lbs in the last 2 weeks so I am feeling better about where I am.  I even updated the tracker on the top of this blog.
I have talked a bunch of people into running the San Jose Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon with me on Oct 2.  Anyone else wanna join us?  (I am looking at you Ruth!!!)  It is a flat course.  It will be with a bunch of really fun people!  It should be a nice and cool northern california morning!  There are bands playing all along the way!  Did I mention that me and a bunch of friends (mostly ER nurses) are going to run it so you have your own medical support with you!  Come On!
Here ....you can check it out for yourself!
Setting goals are important.  I tracked out my training for this race....it will start July 17th.

What are some of your goals?

Saturday, June 11, 2011

I did it

I am happy to report that last Sunday I ran in my first 1/2 marathon.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but I ran all of it with 2 water stops.  The last 2 miles mentally were hard!  I was so ready to stop and walk but I just kept saying...one foot in front of the other...just keep going.  And somehow I was able to do it.  My official race time was 2hrs 40 min and 49 sec.  My garmin said I did 12.00 min miles in moving time.  It shows me my total time and then my time taking out the stops.  My goal for the race was to do under 12 min moving miles.  So....with that I was 1 sec over which I am totally good with.  Physically I had only 2 problems.  At mile 7 I started feeling a blister on my left foot.  I had never had foot issues on my runs so I was not prepared for that.  By the end I had a big blister between my big toe and the ball of the foot making it painful to move my big toe.  Also interestingly enough I rubbed myself raw with the top edge of my bra.  NOt sure what that was about but I have known I needed to get better exercise bras....guess this was the proof I needed.  

Music is really important to me on any day but esp for running.  I have a good "workout music" playlist that I listen to on my workouts.  The night before the race I downloaded some new stuff and made a "best of" playlist where it was only the music that really got me pumped up.  That sure helped a lot!  I like a  WIDE variety of music.  Several people have asked me for my list of workout songs....so here is my "ultimate workout" playlist.  Warning...some songs are not squeaky clean!  I like a little rap in there so download any songs at your own discretion.

Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It) by BeyoncĂ©
Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich
Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
Jai Ho! (as made famous by A. R. Rahman & Pussycat Dolls)
Run It! (Featuring Juelz Santana) by Chris Brown
One, Two Step by Ciara
All I Do Is Win (feat. T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg & Rick Ross) by DJ Khaled
Lose Yourself by Eminem
Club Can't Handle Me (feat. David Guetta) by Flo Rida
Right Round by Flo Rida
Proud by Heather Small
I'll Be Your Man by James Blunt
Stay the Night by James Blunt
Empire State of Mind (feat. Alicia Keys) by Jay-Z
Somebody to Love by Justin Bieber
Firework by Katy Perry
Crazy Beautiful Life by Ke$ha
Doin It by LL Cool J
Control Myself (Featuring Jennifer Lopez)by LL Cool J & Jennifer Lopez
Party Rock Anthem (feat. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock)by LMFAO Party Rock Anthem
Country Girl (Shake It for Me) by Luke Bryan
Beauty in the World by Macy Gray
Your Moment (from the Biggest Loser) by Mark Holman
Faster by Matt Nathanson
Raise Your Glass by P!nk
Give Me Everything (feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack & Nayer) by Pitbull
Hips Don't Lie (featuring Wyclef Jean) by Shakira
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Dynamite  by Taio Cruz
Hey, Soul Sister by  Train 2
Yeah! by Usher featuring Lil' Jon & Ludacris Confessions (
Knee Deep (feat. Jimmy Buffett) by Zac Brown Band
In da Club by 50 Cent
Candy Shop by 50 Cent

On the same day as my race there was a race in Livermore called the Hook and Ladder.  It is a race with hot firemen all along the course and it is shorter....5K or 10K.  All of my running friends were doing that race so I ran this one solo.  I was feeling a little sad when I started the race that there was going to be no one at the end to celebrate with when I finished.  Well at mile 9 I heard some yelling and I looked over to see my dear friend Jewell and her daughter on the course cheering me on!  They were so awesome!  At one point she drove by me with a sign out the truck cheering for me.  They were at mile 11 with a sign that said only 2 more miles!  That was EXACTLY what I needed at that point!  It was also awesome to have them at the finish line to help me celebrate! 
My official time put me 1096h place of 1519 overall and 207 place of 292 in my age bracket.  To the person that asked if I was in the bottom forth of finishers...I am happy to say no...I wasn't....for overall or age.  I am not sure I will ever run another one of these but I am proud to say I did it!  I feel like I have talked about it so much lately, so I promise to all of those that have to be around me in real life...I wont talk about it much more.