I'm still here

I am still here.  I know my posts have been slim lately.  I am working like a crazy woman (I think I am working over 60 hours this week....and thats a lot for me!)  I have not been dealing with the stress well.  I have been eating crap and not moving like I should.  I can not weigh in at WW this week due to work schedule but I am up.  I got on the scale this morning and it was ugly.  Even a bigger deal is how crappy I have been feeling.  So...at 6 am I got my bootie out of bed and went for a run before work.  It was a SLOW run.  It was a painful run.....but it was a run.  I have not been out on a run in a week.  How quickly the body reverts back to old habits.  I dont like feeling like gut rot so I am determined to make good choices today.

Hope you are doing better than me on your plan!
Murn

Learn from my mistake!

I have a sad story.  My computer all of a sudden crashed this last week.  No problem you think.....your computer was backed up right?  Well yes!  It was backed up.....April 2009.  :(

I have it back up and running with more memory and speed.  I am still working on getting my music on it and also I am going to call itunes with hope that they will take mercy on me and at least give me a list of the songs I have downloaded in the last 18 months.  I have even heard a rumor that they will let you have your music back one time.  (I will report back when I find out!)

In the midst of all this I also had my oven/stove go out.  My car is still not fixed from when I was hit.  The chick that hit me wont call back the insurance company!  I didn't know that was an option!!!  4 weeks and no call!!!  GERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The Emergency Dept that I work is is moving into a brand new three times as huge new beautiful ED.  I am in charge of all the in-services related to this.  The person that is in charge of in servicing me on all the new equipment is not quite as organized or on top of things as I would like her to be which is making me look disorganized....which is driving me crazy!  All of these things are really starting to get to me.

Yesterday was when it all hit me.  I was on my way home from work....where I was for 11 hours on my day off trying to get things together.  My old habits were kicking in my head.  I really wanted to go to taco bell and binge!  I could think of all kinds of yummy cheesy goodness.  Instead I did go home.  When I got home I put on my running shoes and off I went.  I think I had the best run of my life.  I felt fast, light and free!  I only ran 4 miles because it was dark but man did it feel good!  When I got home, I was in such a better mood!  Those problems seemed manageable.  When I finally crawled into bed I realized I forgot to eat dinner!

I will be better about blogging in the next week.  Promise!  but dont expect to see any pictures from the last 18 months.  I cant....those are gone!  :(
Murn

Football, Family, Home, Love and Lean on Me!

 I saw this on a friends Facebook post.  I posted it on my facebook page too so I am sorry if you are my friend and have already seen it.  I love this video.  I am not sure if I can explain why I love it so much but here is my attempt at it:

Football represents home to me.

A group of people all cheering together....with the same feeling of hope.

A group of people all who all love the same thing.  

In my case its a group all loving the Auburn Tigers.

Its a group gathering on a street corner to roll a tree, screaming cheers and love it!

Happiness is teaching the traditions to the next generation and watching them love it too.

It is senseless, but it makes sense to us...and we look forward to it.

I love Auburn. 

Auburn is home.

Auburn will always be home.

Home is comfort.

Home is peaceful, easy and feeling like you belong just how you are.

Home is family.

Family is more than blood.

Family is tradition.

Football is tradition.

Families can look very different.

Family are those that love you even when you are ugly.

Family are those that reach out when you want to be reached to the very least.

Family is who you can lean on.

I have a family that I think of in Auburn that I was born into.

I love them.

I have a California family too.

I do not share blood with most of my California family.

I love them too.

I lean on both.  

Both love me.

Without my family I could not be all that I am.

Without family I could not of succeeded in my weight loss journey.

I hope sometimes they can lean on me like I lean on them.

Home is love.

Family is unconditional love.

I feel very loved.

We can all use more love and family in our corner cheering for us.  

I have an amazing family around me.

I am not sure I explained it well but I love football and family.  Both are very close in meaning for me.  Seems crazy I know but it makes me happy and makes sense in my head.  Lean on me!  Its what Families do!

Murn (I just couldn't sign in my normal red color when I have a post about Auburn.  Seemed sac-religious!  War Eagle!)

Final Stretch!

I have been doing a lot of posts that have not had much to do with weight loss lately. Please dont think that I have stopped working on me but I am enjoying life along the way!  I certainly am still chugging along.  Today I lost 2lbs at WW.  I am happy with that.  I am in the final stretch trying to get under 200lbs.  I am not really sure why getting under 200 is such a big deal to me but it is!  4 lbs to go!!!  I am so close I can practically taste it.

Something I am still struggling with is what to say when someone tells me I am looking good.  I still see myself as a fat fat person so its hard to hear that I am looking good.  I am not sure when I will start to see myself not as huge!  I have been wearing clothes that fit me much better than I have in the process so of course people are noticing it more.  I almost get embarrassed when people mention it.  I really dont know what to reply when someone says "you are melting away."  #1....its certainly not melting....I am working hard for every ounce of me that is leaving and #2 its not happening that fast anymore.    I am proud of what I have lost so far but I really do think I have a lot more to go so mentioning it in the mean time is a waste.  Sigh.  I guess this is a good problem.  Any one able to tell me when I will start to see myself as someone worthy of the nice comments?

On a happier note....I am close to crossing all of my goals off on my side bar.  I need to come up with some new ones!  Any suggestions?  I am going to work on thinking up some new ones over the next few days so keep an eye on that!

Thanks for all the support from everyone!  It takes a village to help me lose weight!

Meg and I went to the movies.  I hate making posts without pictures so here we are at the movie "The Switch."  It was a cute romantic comedy that was predictable but enjoyable in the way I love my chick flicks!

Murn

Chicago and Oprah!

One of my best friends Jewell is an Oprah fan with me.  We have been watching the Oprah web site for it to be open for tickets for over a year now.  My friend Lance teases me about my Oprah obsession.  My DVR is almost always 100% full but the one show I do make sure I stay up on is Oprah.  So when 2 weeks ago Jewell called me at work to tell me the window was open to get tickets I was swamped at work so I could not apply but I told her to win us tickets.  I never thought about it again.  The next day Jewell called me extatic that she got the email that she got tickets!!!!!!!!!  The big catch was it was less than 1 week away!  Graciously she gave me one ticket and told me my sister could come too.  I was going to be coming from Alabama where I was planning on being on vacation with my family that week.  Sarah (preg with twins) and I flew up and spent one night.  Jewell flew in on the redeye flight from SFO and joined us the morning before the show.  My sister then flew home after the show and Jewell and I stayed and explored Chicago for a night then we both flew home the next morning.  I decided I was going to enjoy the trip and for the 2 days I was in Chicago I was going to not stress about food and eat when I wanted.  The plan was when I got back to Alabama I was back on plan.  I am happy to say I did exactly that.  

Sarah and I were starving when we got to Chicago and found this Chicago deep dish pizzaria on the walk from the train to our hotel.  The pizza was so very yummy!

This is all of us the morning before going to see Oprah.  

I am very sad to tell you that the topic of the Oprah show was terrible!  I watch about 99% of her shows but this is one that I woudl see the intro to and then delete it.  Oh well it was still a fun experience.  We didnt know the topic of the show until Oprah came out and turned to the camera and started the show.  We did have a clue that is was going to be a depressing topic because she came out with her shoes in her hands.  Her sad shows usually start with her just starting by looking at the camera.  Her happy shows start with her walking out with a screaming audience.  After the tapping Oprah talked to the audience for about 45 min.  Even with the terrible topic it was still a wonderful day and I am happy to be able to check it off my bucket list!

After the show we did a photo opt with the sign.  

In the Oprah store is her chair that she used for many season.  I took a seat!

Jewell and I checked out Michigan Ave and shopped a bit.  

Another thing on my bucket list is to go to Art Smith's restaurant Table 52.  I have seen it on the Food network as well as Art Smith being Oprah's chef for many years.  We were able to get reservations so Jewell and I headed there for dinner.  

The food at Table 52 was so scrumptious!  I had pistachio encrusted Chicken with a chile sauce on it.  Jewell and I shared a side of Mac and cheese.  The Mac and cheese was so good!!!!  You can see me here holding it before we dug in!

Before the meal started they brought us out this Goat cheese and herb biscuit.  OMG!  I could of eaten a whole meal of those and the mac and cheese.  You certainly can tell Art Smith is a southern boy!  Here is the buscuit.  (and YES!  we took pictures of our foods!)

Chef Smith was very visible the night we were there.  He was all over the dinning room, clearing plates, bringing out dishes.....doing whatever needed to be done.  I have to say this makes me like him even more!  I locked eyes with him at one point and gave him my best southern smile so he came over to our table and talked with us for a while.   He even asked if we wanted a picture!  Well of course we do!!!

For desert we had Apple Beignets.  Delicious!!!

It was a fantastic trip to Chicago.  I must say that I now want to go for a much longer trip and soak up more of Chicago!  Thanks jewell and sarah for helping to make it great with so many memories!
Murn

Poor Maggie

The night before I went out of town my car (Maggie May Ling....yes I name my cars.  My Volvo was Ulga!)  Poor Maggie has a huge dent in her right front bumper.  I could not really do more than contact the insurance companies since I was out of town but now I am back I really want to get her in and fixed.  The people that hit me will not call their insurance company back to make their statement therefor it is holding up getting my car fixed!  There was a witness of the whole incident and I think she works at Red Robin by the mall so I am in hunt of this woman to get a statement from her!  I made my friend Cindy go to red Robin after work with me to look for this woman.  Luckily before we went, I looked on the Red Robbin website to get nutritional facts.  Am I ever glad I did!  There are HUGE differences in several of the dishes and a few condiments made a HUGE difference in the healthy or unhealthiness of the foods.  When I have to look at the nutritional facts it makes it impossible to choose a meal that is 62 grams in fat.  Not knowing....its not so hard to eat that!  Anyways.....the conversation was great with Cindy.  I had a grilled chicken sandwich with a slice of swiss on it and a side salad with balsalmic vinegrette.  It was a total of 19 points but that was way better than anything else I could find!  Sadly I did not see the witness that I need to get a statement from but I think I confirmed that she works there so looks like I will be going back this weekend!  Anyone want to go with me?
After the dinner I was feeling pretty good and I had planned on going to the gym so I managed to follow through with that.  I thought I was only going to run 3 miles but somehow I managed to run more.  I kept setting a new goal and when I got to that goal I was like...."I can do a little bit more."  I ended up running (with a couple of walking breaks) for 1 hour for a total of 4.7 miles.  I get so frekin bored on the treadmill so its impressive to me I could stay on the dang thing for an hour.
When I got home I weighed myself.  I was 205.6.  When I went to WW in Auburn I was 206.0.  When I got home from my trip I was up to 209.4 but I was also PMS and knew I was retaining water.  Feels good to be back down where I was.  I didnt weigh in this week because WW was closed on Mon for labor day.  I will weigh in on this Monday.  I am really putting a big push on myself to get under 200 soon!  I have been in the low 200s long enough!
Murn

lot to say!

I have lots I want to write about but since I have been home I have been a working woman!  I did ok (not great...not terrible) on my vacation staying on my plan.  I had a fabulous time in chicago and in Alabama.  I took many pictures and will fill you into all the details soon!  In the mean time my Auburn Tigers play tomorrow (thurs) so please cheer them on!  

This picture was taken right before we went to the game on Sat.  I love southern football!  There is nothing quite like it!  I hope you had a great labor day weekend!  I sure did!

Murn!