I didnt know my own strength

My weight loss has certainly slowed down.  This week I was up 0.4lbs at WW on Monday.  This is my week before my period so it is common to be up.  I am trying to not get too obsessed over the number but on living well and healthy.  I would not be sad if that number would just go ahead and slide on down to start with a 1.  I'm just sayin!
I blew off work a bit early tonight to head to the gym.  Means I have to put in a few hours of work this weekend but I guess I thought it was worth it at the time.  I was going to do my regular workout.  3 miles on the treadmill and swim 1/2 mile.  Off I started.  I was really really struggling with my running tonight.  I managed to run 2 miles at only 4.8mph (yes I know thats slow.....I am slow....I dont think I will be a fast runner.)  I was dripping from every part of my body with sweat.  I forgot my hat that I wear to catch all my head sweat so I am sure I was nastier looking than my usual nasty self.  I decided that those 2 miles sucked so bad that it was ok to walk the last mile.  I have read that walking and running the same distances burn pretty much the same calories.  Well then the song "I Didn't Know my Own Strength" by Whitney Houston came on my Ipod.  There are 2 songs on my "workout" playlist that are not fast ut inspirational.  This is one.  This song has been my unofficial theme for this journey of weight loss.  This was all I needed to pull out the strength to run most of that last mile.  I alternated between running at 6.0mph for a minute (0.1 mile) and slow running at 4.5mph.  I want to consistently run under a 12 minute mile so I am trying to do some sprinting work.
The words to this song brings me to tears.  I am not usually a Whitney fan...esp after seeing her in concert in high school (she was terrible live!!)  But this song really does sum up my journey.  When I started this, I had never succeeded at weight loss and being healthy.  I really didnt know if I could do it.  I now know I can do it. I am strong enough to lose weight.  I am strong enough to run.  "I am not built to break."  If you have never heard this song....go download it.  Close your eyes and listen to the words.  I really do think you will find the words honest and touching.  It makes me cry when I listen to it.  I am really doing this!  I didnt know my own strength!

Here are the words for you to read:

Lost touch with my soul

I had no where to turn

I had no where to go

Lost sight of my dream,

Thought it would be the end of me

I thought I’d never make it through

I had no hope to hold on to,

I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled

But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up

Hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

Found hope in my heart,

I found the light to life

My way out of the dark

Found all that I need

Here inside of me

I thought I’d never find my way

I thought I’d never lift that weight

I thought I would break

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled

But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up

Hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

There were so many times I

Wondered how I’d get through the night I

Thought took all I could take

I didn’t know my own strength

And I crashed down, and I tumbled

But I did not crumble

I got through all the pain

I didn’t know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour

My faith kept me alive

I picked myself back up

Hold my head up high

I was not built to break

I didn’t know my own strength

You have strength you didnt know you had too!  

Murn