just keep swimming

Tonight I left work a bit earlier than usual since I had taught a class earlier in the week. I had planned on working out.  I got home and put on my workout clothes and packed my swimming gear.  Then I looked at my pooch, Sophie.  She looked like she really wanted to go for a walk.  So off we went.  I am warning you that the next sentence might piss you off so continue reading at your own risk.  It was TOO COLD and WINDY out tonight to walk her further than a quick mile.  I know, I know many many of you are in HOT places (like my beloved Alabama) and feel no sympathy for me whinning that it was too cold.  I was not dressed for it I guess is all I am saying.  So she got 1 mile and I was back on my original plan of heading to the gym.  I actually have not been to the gym in a couple weeks.  I have been having so much fun running outside and biking that I have not needed to go there.
I ran 2 miles and biked for 15 minutes.  Then I was off to the pool.  I do like swimming very much but I was dreading it because I knew it was going to be a hard workout since I have not done it in a couple weeks.  I was right.  It sucked but I did what my goal was....1/2 mile.
1/2 a mile is 16 laps in my pool.  I have tried all sort of devices to count my laps and have found the best thing to do is keep track in my head.  To do this I have a system.  I am a nurse in a emergency dept as many of you know.  The ED I work in has 16 rooms.  Now many of those rooms have more than one bed in them but there are actually 16 rooms.  16 laps......16 rooms!  Perfect!  While I am swimming each lap I imagine I am in the room that matches.  For instance when I am swimming the 3rd lap I imagine I am in room 3.  When I am thinking about each room I think of patients I have cared for.  Some rooms always bring up the same patients each time.  Other rooms it changes and might be the last patient I cared for.  Tonight I really had a lovely tour of the ED and really reflected on my career there in the ED.  I really have had some great patients over the years.  Let me give you a glimpse in a few rooms I was in tonight while swimming:
Room 3- I have 2 different patients I always think about in this room.  One is a baby that was rolled over and smothered by her mom sleeping in bed.  Sad.  I try to not think about that baby long.  The second one was one of the highlights of my career.  There was a very elderly lady that was brought in by ambulance.  It was clear she was actively dying.  She had the appropriate paperwork that would allow us to let this process happen.  The patient's daughter called me.  She was sobbing.  She was out of town on a vacation and it was going to take her a little while to get to the hospital.  She had always promised her mom that she would not let her die alone.  She was so worried her mom was not going to have anyone with her when she crossed over.  It was a slow night in the ED and I assured the patients daughter that her mom would not be alone.  I pulled up a chair to the bed by the patient, turned down the lights and sat and held the patients hand and talked to her while she passed on to the next world.  What a true blessing that was that night to be able to carry out such a simple request of a patient I was caring for.
Room 4 brings me always to either delivering a meth addicts baby (one of my least favorite memories) or the little old man that when I was asking him orientation questions....he asked me if I was checking to see if he brought his marbles with him!  He was very stern with me and his daughter to make sure we both knew he did not want to be resuscitated.  I did not have any indication that would be pertinent information but about an hour after he told us that, he started having a lot of trouble breathing and passed away quickly.  He made me smile so much before passing but it also taught me that patients are in control much more than I am and he had said he was ready and was going to go soon.  I didnt believe him.  I now believe patients that tell me they are going to die.  That was a novice nurse mistake.
Room 9 always makes me think of the man that was brought in with an open leg fracture that was very gory (and it takes a lot to have me say that.)  He had bones sticking out and tendons showing.  He kept telling us he was fine and to put a bandaid on it and he would be on his way.  Yikes!

Most of the other rooms bring lots of memories to them.  Some touching, some funny, some are simply a pain in the ass patient that left a memory.  I have to work a way to get the beds in our hallsways worked into my swim.  The patients in the halls are usually our drunks and many times homeless clients that leave many memories (as well as smells) behind.

I love my job and I like that I can reflect on mostly the good patients I have come in contact with when I am swimming.....which is a very peaceful time for me!  Just me, my thoughts and the water.  Just keep swimming!
Murn